The Kleenex Rationale

Tags

children, christmas, Common Sense, crazy, family, holidays, kids, life, parenting, sarcasm, silly

I rarely buy “Kleenex” brand tissues. Yes, they are a little spot of heaven on a chapped, raw nose – but OH, so expensive! Those are my tissues of last resort, the tissues I turn to when the softest of tp is like sand paper.

A few days ago, on a whim, I bought a box of Kleenex Cool Touch tissues.  I didn’t need them, we aren’t that sick here in this house.  The name, though … Cool Touch.  How had modern science endeavored to make a paper product have a temperature?  Soon after getting them home, I did find a need to use one. And wouldn’t you know it – they ARE cool to the touch! They feel wonderful and soft against my face. Cool, velvety, and somehow moist.  Mmmm.

The next day, the box was nowhere to be found.  Now, the child has a permanent fort, created by limitations of furniture arrangement in my small condo. There’s a place, between the sofa and the poofy chair, where she hides and plays, reads books and creates fantasy lands where Princesses always win, and always get their wishes. It was there that I found the now nearly-empty box of tissues, contents strewn about haphazardly amongst Belle and Cinderella, Mrs Potts and the Wise Owl.

M: Baby! Why are all the tissues out of the box?  Those are only for blowing our noses.
S: Well, mommy, I DID need to blow my nose.  But the first tissue I took out was cold and wet! So I took another one out, but it was cold and wet too! So instead I took them all out and spread them out so they could dry for you, so if you need to blow your nose, you can have a nice dry tissue.

*sigh* My girl is endlessly sweet, and thoughtful. And thankfully, it was JUST a box of tissues, easily stuffed back into the box.  Explaining Cool Touch to her was easier than I had anticipated; her grasp of science is such that she accepted fully that “that’s just the way these tissues are made, to feel nice on our faces.”

*Note to self: Expose the child to the finer things in life, such as Kleenex brand tissues, more often.  This level of complete puzzlement should not exist for her.